What's going on?
Well, in short, I'm abandoning the Marblyn YouTube channel for good. It's been a long run, while I have been running the channel for nearly 8 years. Alot of you are wondering as to why I'm doing this. Well, blame TikTok for it. Registering for it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. As you all know, I made a TikTok account many months ago, and it for some reason got suspended without a reason. It was completely wiped out after, which I had to make another one. Thankfully, the username wasn't namesniped.Weeks after that, I noticed that TikTok has a "People you may know" feature. No matter how many times I've made sure to turn that option off, they still seemed to have recommended my account to my uncle, leading to him telling my mom about it. My mom is not happy with me at the moment, and now that she knows that I've worked on this channel for nearly 8 years, she was very upset with me about it.
But you're an adult now...
You may be wondering though, "Marblyn, you're 18 years old! Your mom can't do anything about it". Well, the thing is that I've kept my internet persona secret from everyone I knew irl. However, back in 2017 and 2018, I used to be alot more public about it, even with my YouTube channel. Alot of times at school I would ask my classmates to subscribe to my YouTube channel, but some were even annoyed at me for it. I even told my dad about my YouTube channel at that point, but not my mom or my grandparents, because they were alot stricter than my dad and I feared that one day they would make me delete my YouTube account to focus more on school.
But here's the thing, in 2020, believe it or not, I got expelled from a school. It's mainly because I treated everyone like a wreck back then, but not intentionally. When I "bullied" people back then, I wasn't intentionally trying to bully them on purpose, I just made stupid jokes back then not realizing it would hurt people's feelings or make them uncomfortable. Another reasoning for my expulsion is because I unintentionally emailed the entire district with Google Groups (at the time I didn't even know that Google Groups would send out emails, because I used to use Google Groups as a forum software on some sites).
Because of my expulsion, I transferred schools, still would get picked on. That's until after being in eighth grade, I would start being alot more introverted. Most of my classmates would notice this, and would be really worried about me. And then years go by, my family still want to know why I don't talk to anyone, I gave them this exact story, and after my mom found out about my internet persona, she was angry at me, mainly because she believes I CAN talk to people, but that's not true. That's not true at all.
Am I really capable talking to anyone irl?
Short answer is, no. You all know that I can talk perfectly in voice chats, but you don't know the exact truth about me. I am nothing but a narcissic (i cannot spell), selfish, and a complete asshole to my friends. People get really pissed at me, and would sometimes even block me over the things I do, which is why she is wrong about me talking to people perfectly. One of my (now former) friends was actually willing to meet my mom in a Discord VC, but I am no longer friends with that person anymore, which proved my point. As I am writing this, I have not gotten the chance to talk to her about the whole internet persona, because I want to talk to her in person, and not infront of my grandparents about this, and not say anything to anyone about it. I was hoping maybe if I talk to her about this, she would understand me more. I don't think she also knows that I could make money on YouTube. I've made around 54 dollars on YouTube in the past month. And plus, I don't even post videos on YouTube like everyday. I only post once, twice, or even three times a month. And it takes me around a day or two to edit videos.
What's next?
Well, I don't know. Alot of you were wondering this. I attempted to post some videos on another channel, but that didn't work at all. It had 49 subscribers under 2 days but it somehow dropped to 38 after. I am actually willing to stop posting content on my YouTube because of this. My TikTok account will also not be deleted, but rather privated, because if I delete TikTok then someone will snipe the @marblyn handle and impersonate me, and that's not what I want. Some of you were worried that I deleted all of my videos on YouTube, I would never. I would not delete nearly 8 years of history. I did accidentally delete one of the OatmealHTF videos, but it's not much of my worries since I possibly won't be posting on this channel anymore. But if I do talk this through with my mom, then there's a 30% chance that I can post on this channel again. But this only depends.